How do you teach your kid street smarts without letting them on the street?

In my cohort of homeschoolers, many families cite bullying as one reason they chose to educate at home. I am one of those families. And while I do not want my children to be subjected to assholes, I would like them to learn how to deal with assholes, all without becoming assholes themselves. As the mother of a girl, this issue is also laden with fear of rape or abuse; a fear that she is a target for exploitation. How can I prepare her for that?

One of the defining qualities of adulthood is the ability to handle, with grace, intense emotions like: love, lust, hate, envy, loss, suffering, etc. Another defining quality of adulthood is the ability to tell when someone is trying to screw you- hopefully before they finish. But how do we practice these things without getting hurt? Without being in dangerous situations? Without becoming jaded?

I think film is a great ways to impart experience in a safety-net setting. Sort of like an allergy shot. A small dose of the scary stuff: death and suffering, predators, broken people. A small dose administered with lots of love and parental presence. When it comes to street smarts, sexuality education, and internet safety, my motto is better too much too soon than too little too late. With this in mind, here is a list of movies (and some TV shows) that toughened up my kid while leaving her openhearted.

• Labyrinth
• The Dark Crystal
• The Emerald Forest
• The Secret of Roan Inish
• The Guru
  
• Lady Jane
• Little Black Book
• The Black Stallion
  
• The Piano
• Air America
  
• Ladyhawke
• Girl, Interrupted
• Quest for Fire
• Smooth Talk
  
• Elizabeth
  
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Little Buddha
• A Little Princess
• The Breakfast Club
• Moulin Rouge
• Contact
• E.T.
• Star Trek, TNG
  Special stars for the episode Chain of Command, which is about torture and was produced in conjunction with Amnesty International.
• Kung Fu
  My hands down favorite and most often quoted media input.
• Mission Impossible
  The original series, not the new Tom Cruise movies. Note how much silence there is- more than half the show.

What is the omer and how do I count it? Creating enlightened character traits

Counting the omer is a Jewish custom practiced during the 49 days between Passover and the Revelation at Sinai.

Jewish mystical writings explain that the Infinite Being has seven emotional attributes. Each week of the omer represents one attribute, and each day in that week a specific aspect of that attribute. We use the omer as a vehicle to discuss midos, enlightened character traits. More than sums and letters, character traits create and refine a child's humanity. I think character traits should be discussed through the lens of every subject and every situation, and that even very young children can understand complex emotional material with the right vocabulary.

Week 1: Lovingkindness (chessed)
Week 2: Discipline (gevurah)
Week 3: Beauty (tiferet)
Week 4: Endurance (netzach)
Week 5: Humility (hod)
Week 6: Foundation (yesod)
Week 7: Nobility (malchut)

Day 1 is lovingkindness/lovingkindness. Day 2 is lovingkindness/discipline. Day 3 is lovingkindness/beauty. And so forth, for 49 days. The omer is counted at sunset, and many Jews recite a blessing before counting. At the conclusion of the omer, we celebrate our heightened spiritual awareness with the holiday of Shavuot.

How to deal with administrators: real life lessons from the web

My daughter writes. A lot. And much of her writing is in the form of role-playing games at Menewsha, which she then copies to her blog. Yesterday she wrote so much that her role-play thread was "frozen" for over-posting. I could not be more proud! She was, understandably, devastated.

So we discussed the structure of Menewsha. What are the rules? Where are they written down? Who actually froze the thread? Who can you talk to about it? A few mouse clicks later, she had read the actual rules of posting (she had not violated them) and found the person to talk to (a volunteer moderator).

She then spend 30 minutes composing an email to the moderator, explaining how her particular situation did not violate the posting rules and asking for suggestions about how to avoid this in the future. Not only did she get a response, she got an apology and an unfrozen thread.

I find "lessons" like this to be incredibly valuable and practical. These are real skills she will need as a adult and she is getting to practice these skills in meaningful context. While meaningful work is nice, and I do love it that she is writing so much, my real goal is to create a self-motivated learner. Supporting subjects my children value generates a climate of self-motivation. They literally cannot wait to get back to their own projects. To their own work and to their own successes.

Write on!